From Homeland, via True Blood to Downton

Still shaking from withdrawal after living through Homeland seasons one and two I went on the prowl for some new dope. Downton Abbey has long looked like a likely contender, but I was still waiting for series one to arrive in the mail. The next season of Mad Men is just too long a wait and the missus won’t get into Breaking Bad. Which leaves us with: the much hyped “True Blood”. I decided to give episode 1 a fair shake.

Yes, dear friends, a show about vampires, set in current day Louisiana. Somehow this would seem like a logical place for the critters to live (unlive?). I have to admit I’m not big on the whole vampire thing, having tried to watch “Twilight” (for strictly professional reasons) twice….and not succeeding.

On the left here’s Twilight star Robert Pattinson or vampire Edward as his friends know him, looking moody, conflicted, and let’s face it: sleepy….I do envy his hair, though not the way he wears it.



But I do have somewhat fond memories of “Interview with a Vampire” and am an avid admirer of Coppola’s “Dracula” (remember 1992? Boy am I getting old).

Okay, so there I am, biting my way through episode one, season one, with the charming Anna Paquin to keep me company. So far, things are at their mediocre best. Until the unavoidable sleepy eyed, pale, perpetually sleepy (and I assume handsome) vampire dude, love interest shows up. Oh great, it’s a Robert Pattinson lookalike – mayhaps even sleepier. And he’s played by a Brit too, how authentic!

Anna falls for the chap like a sack of concrete. And then he’s put in danger by a couple of buffoons too stupid to tie their own bootlaces. It’s convenient, because Anna gets to save him. This is onstensibly the inciting incident for the whole show, which is now in its sixth season.

Now, why am I annoyed? Well, to be honest: I just can’t take the whole “look at me being pale, weak, touchy feely, dangerous or not, confused, befuddled, strong, weak, look I’ve got pointy teeth” thing.

Here’s vampire Bill, on the left, he’s really tired, you know, ’cause he’s like really old and conflicted over his identity, you know. It’s like really difficult to be different and stuff, you know….it sucks to be a vamp.

Give me a real badass old school Dracula over all these teen angst metaphore creatures any day. This is what the show’s makers are asking me to invest in, to get involved with?

No, So there it is, no True Blood for me.

There, that was it for me, True Blood is shelved for the foreseeable future at least. Which brings me comfortably back to Downton Abbey. By now I have thoroughly enjoyed episode one, good performances all-round, juicy plotting. In short: we have an winner.

At least till Homeland season 3 and Mad Men 6…….